Bane squinched his eyes in concentration, his tongue jutting out from between his thin lips, willing the Loincloth to work its miracle of misdirection, and just as he felt the tingle of the diamonds against his loins, Gaius felt a similar tingle in the pouch at his hip. Then everyone froze as Bane’s loincloth, rather than Bane himself, became invisible, and his whacker, coiled like a hibernating anaconda, sprang to life.

Gaius realized that he hadn’t carb-loaded for this adventure like he should have, and he was indeed feeling a bit peckish as he, Axor, Bane and his life’s light, Ilium, raced down the stairs leading away from the palace vault and about thirty-four of the King’s Guard. There had been thirty-five, but one stopped to pull a rock out of his boot and he was subsequently trampled by the Palace Guardian, a twelve-foot tall Minotaur with a massive battle axe, a sour attitude and a loin cloth that was considerably more disturbing than both his attitude and battle axe.

I sat there for a while and just stared at the email.

I'd been here how long? Good pay, lunch breaks on the front steps, interns coming and going. The one staying, thriving, bounding over me, my boss now, and his signature there under the rote "With regards," and just floating above the "Manager, Event Horizon Division."

This is a nice little riff on Dungeons & Dragons, so I couldn’t not save and repost everywhere, but more importantly, it sums up the point of this post. Everyone can do something to support The Resistance — not everyone has to be Princess Leia or Luthen Rael. One of the characters above is the Bard, who spreads “the word and helps members of the other classes keep up their spirits and mental health.” And while I’ll go ahead and admit to taking on a couple of these roles, the one I cherish the most is the Bard.

Who’s brave or stupid enough to travel to the Duke of Dread's castle, break into his infamous unbreak-into-able vault, take on the fabled guardian and survive the twists and turns of the castle grounds, not to mention the duke's own cherry cobbler?

Now you know...or do you?

Back some 10ish years ago, I gave a thought to rewriting Alice in Wonderland, following every chapter’s events, chapter-by-chapter, but retelling the story. As always, I had no idea where I was going with the thing. I just started writing and let it happen. And that’s worked well for me for the most part, but this whole novel that I ended up writing feels like it’s missing something. I think that something is a soul, if you know what I mean. The teaser has a hint of that soul, but the rest of the book veers off and loses that soul, that voice. So, I need to figure out what this novel is so I can bring it back to life and give it to you properly.

I’m in Nashville this weekend to watch my son run his first half marathon. Lots of fun yesterday because Nashville is a super fun place to hang out. But my mind is always on writing — can’t help it. And since there are a lot of stories rolling through this space, I thought I would work on a newsletter that help everyone catch up on everything. Thus, the “Catch-up Edition” — what are the serials that are happening, and what’s going on with each? Couldn’t hurt, right?

“Valkath the Inferno,” muttered Gaius, and as if on cue, the great beast flapped its wings and lit into the air as easily as a bird, or rather a bird the size of a large church or a castle owned by the king’s second cousin or someone of lesser importance who probably just rented the place because castle upkeep was so expensive and royalty just wasn’t what it used to be.

The air crackled with the tension of a high-stakes bingo night as Gaius stepped forward, throwing caution to the wind, but not before remembering where it landed in case he needed it later. And with one glance back at the sun, its pert bottom nearly touching the distant horizon, he entered the dragon's domain.

Back in 2023, I decided to start a collection of short stories in varying genres with dozens of new, fun, intriguing characters, and in my very first effort, I came across a young wizard taking on the greatest challenge of his time — The Duel of Fates, the ultimate battle against the ultimate foe, a terrifying dragon named Valkath the Inferno.

I had an unexpected amount of fun with Gaius and his story, told in three parts (linked below), and I’ve already come up with a follow-up story for Gaius because I think he deserves one. I hope you think so, too. I’ve never written comedy before, and there are parts of this story that make me laugh every time I read them.

I don't know what anyone else thinks, but I like creating these Author Check List graphics. I operate with to-do lists, yellow stickies and checklists galore. It’s the easiest way for me to keep on track and focus on what’s happening right in front of me. Even at work, there’s so much swirl, but my stickies keep me focused. If I write it on a sticky and make a little box to check off later, it’ll get done.

So I roll my aching shoulders back, crack my neck, and inhale deep.

I am Samantha Gulliver now.

A lifestyle influencer, a high-engagement content queen, a networking socialite with a hunger for clout and a keen sense of hustle. I am here to document my once-in-a-lifetime entry into GigaLand, to bask in the radiance of Dax™ and his Titans, to "observe the optimization of human excellence up close."

Translation: I am going to lie my ass off, infiltrate the most ridiculous nation on Earth, and get the story of a lifetime.

Plot Twist! is done and fully on the street in both audio and text versions. I loved the audio by Daniella; she had exactly the right voice. Funny and raunchy, a silly, sexy tale of one woman's trip to a friend's birthday party -- if only someone would stop yelling, "Plot Twist!"

In the depths of Manhattan’s Lower East Side, four people coexist in a cesspool of lust and betrayal — Wolfe, a broken cop with a history of questionable behavior; Goldi — a young woman trying to survive her dreams and the death of her lover; Gretel — an undercover agent struggling to remain true to her oath; Ivan — a horror of a man who will do anything to get what he wants.

Back to reading regularly and writing reviews, which I love to do.

This month’s checklist is vast, but that’s how I roll.

“The goal, my darling man, is to cum just as you take your last breath, to realize the most amazing orgasm, the most glorious sensation – for that matter – imaginable, just as you die. It is the purest high I have ever felt, and” – she’d searched for words, but she had never finished the sentence. There was no way to describe it; neither she nor the others who had survived the ritual and achieved this dark pleasure were ever able to summon words that did it justice. All they ever shared was a knowing look of some unspeakable glory followed by the recognition that some of their friends had not been able to be revived.

The other day, it hit me that I should do something familiar, something many people have seen online on YouTube — Honest Trailers. (If you haven’t seen an Honest Trailer, you are missing out.) Why not create an Honest Trailer for my own story? And so, with a bit of help from ChatGPT, who took my notes and fashioned the script, and ElevenLabs, a text-to-voice application with tons of really cool voices, I put this thing together and am dropping it here for you today.

What did I do this week in writing, and better yet, what should I be doing? When you have a bunch of WIPs in progress, it’s hard to keep up with everything. I’ve started a calendar on a notepad now just to stay on schedule with what I want to do. That includes when I write this newsletter, what episodes and chapters I’m writing in my various WIPs, and what and when I’ll post during the week on my Substack, The Fictional, as well as on The Fictional: After Dark.

Working on the novel again, among other things…